No Comprendo Yet
by MyFalseTruth
Summary: Ryou goes to the park to avoid things he doesn't like. Homework, drama, bullies. So what does he do when those things catch up with him at the park? Speak Spanish, a language he barely knows, and hope they fall for it! AU REWRITE
1. Chapter 1

Ryou Bakura was sitting alone on a bench at the local park.

If he had a more sentimental mind, he'd quote poetry.

The park was virtually empty. But then again, it always was. Nobody who had friends hung out at the old park. Not to say Ryou didn't have friends, he just wasn't all that close to them.

Ryou went to the park whenever he was bored. Or if he just needed a change of scenery, maybe even to study. This was one of the studying times. Right now Ryou was going over the vocabulary for his Spanish quiz in his head.

The problem with vocabulary is that Ryou tended to focus less on the actual words and their meanings. His attention was always captured by the accent and speech patterns. The words were like an art form. The simple little things like the rolling of R's or the places letters changed their sound to one uncommon in the English language fascinated him.

In retrospect, it would probably be better to actually **know** the words he was supposed to be saying, but it was just much more fun to mimic the accent. His teacher has even said that Ryou's accent could pass for native, if only he would say... well, the right words.

'Okay, so a way to greet somebody is... uh _encantado, me llamo Ryou' _oh yes, must be polite._ ¿Y tu?' _He closed his eyes in concentration and continued to think of the simple conversation with himself. Just a tad worried that he has spent a few months in that class, yet couldn't remember what encantado meant.

That was the reason for the current studying.

'Perhaps I just need to take my teacher's advice and associate it with something?' Ryou thought almost half desperately. It may not sound like that big of a deal, but when somebody starts a conversation with words you don't know, that conversation does not have much potential.

Ryou sighed in defeat. 'Doubt I'll be remembering that anytime soon.'. Ryou opened his eyes and saw a boy standing over him. Ryou startled from the shock of seeing a stranger so close to him and Ryou's forehead connected with the stranger's chin.

Needless to say, Ryou had a hard head and both him and the stranger were sent sprawling to the ground with Ryou clutching his head and the stranger his chin.

He hadn't meant to do that really. But, Ow.

Really, it's a normal reaction! Ow. When some guy is standing inches away like a creeper, **normal** people tend to be weirded out. Now that Ryou was actually looking at him and had a closer look at him thanks to their shared positions on the ground (the stranger had fallen backward on his butt and Ryou's jump caused him to lose his balance leaving him to go forward onto his knees) he could see that he looks... well, like Ryou.

That's strange.

Still painful too.

"What're **you** staring at?" The lookalike asked harshly, holding a hand on his chin while glaring at Ryou.

Ryou idly wondered if this is what I'd be like if he were a jerk.

"Uh, _lo siento por eso_." Ryou apologized. Or at least he thought he did. Again, vocabulary and he aren't the best of buddies. He also thought that having a really angry scary bloke right in from of him who isn't the happiest at the moment counts for something.

Ryou don't even know what he was thinking. Or wasn't thinking. He was pretty certain he meant to say something in English... but hey, maybe if the angry boy thinks they don't speak the same language he'll leave Ryou alone. It's a long shot but it might happen.

Maybe.

"Don't you speak English?" He sneered in a mocking tone. Ryou could almost hear the unsaid derogatory name at the end of that sentence.

That alone kind of annoyed Ryou. He was just trying to study then this weirdo starts being creepy and insulting! Ryou wonders if it's because the other wasn't hugged enough as a child.

Ryou mentally scolded himself. This is definitely **not** the time to have witty commentary in his head. He has to focus on the angry guy in front of him.

Eh, but that thought doesn't make Ryou want to talk to him.

"_No hablo ingles. Como te llamas?" Ryou_ stuck out my hand quickly for him to shake with a small, practiced smile easily forming despite the lack of emotions causing it.

The smile was fine, he had that perfected, but the handshake looked pretty awkward, even to Ryou. He's just going to blame that one on the weird sitting positions.

The guy blinked as he looked down at Ryou's hand. He seemed almost unsure if he was being punked or not. He looked back up and apparently being satisfied by the lack of anything mischievous in Ryou's eyes, he slowly took Ryou's hand in his own.

"...You asked my name right? ...It's Bakura." Bakura seemed partially apologetic and somewhat reluctant to apologize. Ryou got the feeling that Bakura didn't apologize often. This just might be a historical moment. Ryou resist the urge to look at his watch to document the time it happened.

Meanwhile Bakura's thought process had gone much faster along the lines of 'Man that kid has a hard head!' and 'why did he freak out and smash his head into my chin?!'

And no, Bakura was **not** being a stalker or anything. He had just decided to take an o_h-so-innocent-stroll-with-absolutely-no-unethical-schemes-no-sir_ through the park when he see this kid who looks just like him. Maybe that's an exaggeration. He looked a lot more... a lot younger than Bakura. Less... threatening in a way. Maybe it was just that his hair was actually what some people would call decent.

(Bakura would argue that his hair wasn't a mess, it was organized chaos. It was art. Art that happened naturally some days and some days if he just rolled out of bed and brushed through once, oh well who can tell the difference?)

About the kid (kid to his subconscious until proven otherwise), of course Bakura had to investigate. Worst case scenario, he finds out his father had a little something something on the side before his parents split. Best case scenario, he has a new scapegoat.

So anyways, like his original train of thought went, he was just walking through the park and saw this kid who looks like him sitting on a bench with his eyes closed. Any **normal** person would be curious. Not that Bakura can be classified as normal. Please. He refused to be lumped with all the losers out there.

Bakura noticed the kid looking at him. "What are **you** staring at?" He had asked harshly, a bit annoyed at the pain in his chin. He's taken a few blows to the jaw before but damn this kid had a thick skull.

"Um_ lo siento por eso."_

What?

"Don't you speak English?" Bakura swore that if this kid's playing some kind of joke on him, he would not hesitate to-

"_No hable ingles. Como te llamas?"_ The kid asked and stuck out his hand very awkwardly for Bakura to shake. Bakura faltered for a second. Maybe it wasn't an act, the kid sounded pretty... whatever the term is. Real? Foreign? Is that a good word to describe it? Whatever. Bakura thought the kid said something about his name. If he had picked up anything from his annoying friend who could speak Spanish.

"You asked me my name right?...It's Bakura." He was still a little wary, but he guessed the kid might be the real thing. Bakura shook his hand. There's really no reason not to. Because really, who can he tell the **The** Bakura was actually civil? From his uniform Bakura could tell he doesn't even go to the same school. Plus it did get tiring being a jerk to losers.

Yep that's totally his reason. Not that he was actually really curious about this little enigma with a skull of steel. Or even a little guilty.

Bakura was a bit harsh to the kid when he probably gets picked on. He is slightly feminine and he just comes off as quiet and shy. Pair that with the white hair and his small build making him the kind of kid bullies dream of getting the chance to torment.

It even made Bakura want to punch him.

Just a little.

The kid, he said his name was Ryou or something right? Is that even a Mexican name? Or Spanish? How many countries are there that are even Spanish speakers?

Bakura stood and used their still connected hands to help the kid up.

Ryou dusted himself off and looked at Bakura in a nervous way, yet he seemed slightly... not nervous? Bakura wasn't sure. This was the strangest thing to happen to him and it just kept getting weirder.

Whatever.

Deciding not to bother with any stupid one sided conversation, Bakura shot him his trademark smirk, (yeah that's right, **trademark),** stuck a hand in his pocket and raised his other in farewell as he strolled away.

"See ya kid." Bakura just knew he looked freaking awesome right now.

Bakura walked away in that too-cool-to-care way Ryou thought he seemed to have **waaay** to much practice doing. A small part of Ryou hoped he might see him again, as it was the most entertaining first meeting he'd ever had. While another part, the more rational part, said Ryou was lucky to get out of that without getting beaten up.

That guy just radiated 'punches his feelings out'.

A huge smile crept onto Ryou's face when he realized Bakura actually **did** believe that he was Hispanic. Ryou thought about how. He's got white skin- but if he's albino then Ryou really could be any nationality. His hair would be white and his skin pale regardless of where he came from.

When Bakura was gone and the park empty, Ryou couldn't stop the laughter that bubbled as the satisfactory thought of that too-cool-to care bad boy falling for his trick reached full realization in his head. Bakura doesn't seem like a person who was very bright anyways. Plus his hair looked ridiculous.

**TBC**

**Translations**

_encantado- _Pleased to meet you

_Me llamo- _My name is...

_¿Y tu?- _And you?

_lo siento por eso.- _Sorry about that.

_No hablo ingles- _I don't speak English

_¿Como te llamas?- _What is your name?

**Author's** **Note**

Guess who's back! If you're a returning reader or experiencing this story for the first time, just know that you're in for... something. Something all right. This won't follow the original No Comprendo. In fact I plan to veer off course of that fairly soon. Updates should be pretty regular. Erm... that should be all for now methinks. Wait! One more thing! I apologize for the lack of accent marks. I'm bad with those and my ancient Word document dislikes them. I'll get around to putting them in eventually.


	2. Chapter 2

A week after Ryou first met Bakura, Ryou found himself in the park on the same bench.

Stupid Spanish homework. Ryou understood **why** he need to do it, but why so much?

He suspect the teacher hates children.

One may think it odd, but why else would he be so cruel? Not even the English teacher assigns this much. The **English** teacher. And they speak English!

So Ryou's has this theory. It goes like this: the Spanish teacher had, once upon a time, been an ordinary kid in school. He started being less popular with his peers so after he was constantly rejected by girls he liked and isolated from everybody, he swore revenge on school children. He spent many years attending college and eventually getting his master's degree in teaching a foreign language before he put his plan into action.

To begin he got a job in a normal little town. Where he became the Spanish teacher. You see, he chose a foreign language to teach because generally kids who are willing to start to learn another language in high school are over- achievers who won't sacrifice their grades for a social life.

So he slowly started assigning more and more homework. Emphasis on the slowly. He did it so steadily that his students barely realized they were getting so much homework until it was to late and they were declining invitations from their friends so they could get their absurd amount of homework done.

This would mean his class would be approximately halfway through that phase, and so logically the rest of it would undoubtedly happen. Ryou was certain of it.

Ryou's thoughts grew more and more paranoid the longer he sat there. He wasn't even doing his homework anymore. He was so absorbed in his suspicions that he didn't notice a certain familiar white haired look-a-like sit down besides him.

Bakura prided himself on his sneaky, thief-like skills. He puts those to use in a very small scale way. He casually leaned over, then discreetly looked at what Ryou was writing. It was so sneaky.

Actually not at all. The kid was so absorbed in his own little world Bakura probably could have just picked up the backpack next to him and walked away in full view and the kid wouldn't have noticed.

Looking at Ryou'd writing, Bakura noticed that it was incredibly tiny, barely readable chicken-scratch.

It was also all in Spanish.

Which he could not read in the slightest. This just might have given a bit more credit to the whole 'doesn't speak English' thing.

"Ahem" Bakura cleared his throat to get Ryou's attention.

And the kid practically jumps a foot in the air he's so startled. Bakura quickly brought his hands up to try to shield his chin. Not that he's scared or anything. It was a completely rational and Bakura swore he wouldn't hesitate to punch **him** in the chin if Ryou slammed his head against Bakura's face again. Nobody that... petite should be able to pack such an... unintentional punch.

Meanwhile, Ryou hadn't noticed he had zoned out so much. Thinking to himself that he really must break that habit, he remembered the last time he zoned out that much. Also known as the time he hadn't come 'back down to earth' until everything he owned had been taken from him and put in the fountain quickly followed by himself.

What he really wondered was how they got the majority of his clothing off without him noticing.

After recovering from his shock, Ryou noticed that his new companion was Bakura. Ryou's first thoughts were not of self preservation but that he really should have hit his chin. Perhaps that would teach Bakura to stop sneaking up on him. One would think Bakura would learn from past experiences. Ryou wondered if it was too late to be 'startled' and bash his head against Bakura's chin without it looking like it was on purpose.

Ryou glance at Bakura thoughtfully.

Yeah, unfortunetly Ryou was pretty sure it was too late.

Ryou look at Bakura a little more, pursing his lips slightly.

Or is it?

Ryou narrow his eyes as somebody bad vision would to see better.

Yeah, it's too late. Too bad.

Though if Bakura kept up this habit Ryou may get plently more opportunities.

"Hey, Ryou" Bakura, apparently pleased at Ryou's reaction of fear and suspicion, spoke in a singsong voice that blatantly hinted of some devilish trick.

"Ye-_¿__S__í?"_ Ryou cought himself; his ruse remembered only at the last moment.

Bakura smirked and pushed Ryou's backpack to the ground without breaking eye contact.

Ryou felt childish indignation build in his chest. He started to ask why on earth would Bakura do that, but he restrain himself when he remember that he wasn't supposed to know English.

He was a tad proud he had managed to not blow his cover. Actually, Ryou really liked that term. His cover. Like he was a secret undercover spy. Only not in as cool of a situation. Ryou mentally made a note to self: as soon as possible, become secret undercover cop/spy/agent.

Or did he need to go back to England for that? It seems like the best secret agents are from England. The popular ones it seems. Wait, isn't that an oxymoron? Popular secret agent. He was fairly certain that counted as an oxymoron.

Ryou shook his head in to clear those weird thoughts. He was getting distracted! He needed to focus on his Spanish homework.

After scribbling down half a sentece Ryou realized Bakura was still there. Well that was a bit embarrassing and rude of him. Ryou forgot about Bakura for a second there. But then again, it wasn't like talking would do any good.

Ryou began to get the impression that Bakura wanted more of a reaction from him. Partly because he seemed like the kind of person who bothered people for entertainment, partly because he started poking Ryou in the arm.

The first poke caught Ryou by surprise and made him flinch. Ryou internally cursed his reflexes as his reaction seemed to be what Bakura was after and fueled the repetition of the action. He poked again and again with vigor. Each delivered to the exact. Same. Exact. Spot.

Ryou managed to ignored it for a little bit(~three minutes), but Bakura just wouldn't stop! It was really messing up Ryou's handwriting. His letters were skewed every few seconds. His paper practically looked like somebody tried to draw in hieroglyphics or something.

After several minutes Ryou was torn between applauding Bakura's persistence or scowling due to the soreness that started to numb his arm.

Ryou moved down the bench so he would be out of reach. It wouldn't stop Bakura, but hopefully the other would take the hint to stop. He's more like a small child trying to get his way by annoying people, Ryou decided, realizing too late that finally reacting would be his downfall.

Bakura moved down and resumed poking. Ryou's eye twitched with the urge to hit Bakura in his smug face. Or his annoying hand. Normally, Ryou would have been surprised by these violent thoughts but Bakura was just so irritating it could not be helped!

Ryou wondered if it would be worth it. Just violent impulse. One retaliation. How mad could he get? Is it worth it? Another well aimed poke later and Ryou had his answer.

Ryou grabbed Bakura's hand and scowled at him warningly. Bakura merely quirked an eyebrow in amusement. His eyes flicked down to Ryou's left hand that was holding his wrist and almost as if Ryou wasn't there at all, Bakura poked Ryou again.

With a twitching eye, Ryou wondered if perhaps he should have stabbed the hand with a pencil while he had it.

A bit more frustrated and not thinking much Ryou shoved against Bakura's chest with as much force as he could muster. When the larger, and clearly stronger of the two, was pushed back by Ryou, Ryou froze in fear.

Why why why why did he do that? Why did he think that would be a good idea? He closed his eyes and hunched up his shoulders in preparation for the blow that would undoubtedly happen.

However when Bakura recovered retaliated in wasn't quite what Ryou expected. Ryou would like to note that he did not yelp (even if he did it certainly wasn't high pitched at all) when Bakura pounced on Ryou. The two plus Ryou's homework went tumbling to the dirt.

They rolled around on the ground for a while, both tried to get the upper hand and laughing at any point in which they were on top, but in the end Bakura had Ryou pinned. Finally forced to stop, Ryou remembered his homework which was a casualty of the fall and began to fidget in the direction of his book. It was a considerable distance away from where they had finally stopped. When Bakura realized what Ryou wanted and that he could not make him say uncle, Bakura simply rolled off him.

Ryou scrambled up and rushed to his books,worried they may be covered in dirt and unusable. "_¡Oh no! Mi tarea! Porque la tierra?¡Pienso que sepas amigos!"_

Ryou knelt over his pile of things and dusted off his book in hopes he wouldn't need to restart his homework all over again. He sighed in relief when he decided that his homework wasn't damaged to the point of needing to be redone. Ryou picked up his things and returned to the park bench. If there was a little bit of dirt on it, well it's not like that would make it unreadable, right?

Back on his bench, with half a pencil (another casualty; the half with the lead tip was nowhere to be seen) Ryou furiously erased a sentence he just noticed had multiple errors. Oh boy he was simply terrible at gender and number.

Meanwhile, Bakura sat up on the ground and tried not to be insulted the foreign kid completely forgot he existed.

He might have failed at not be offended just a bit.

Bakura pulled himself up off the ground and stalked over to the bench. He stood directly infront of Ryou who, upon noticing the sudden lack of light, tilted his up in an almost confused manner. Seeing it was Bakura, his expression grew questioning.

Bakura tried to make an expression that expressed his feeling of 'WFT man we were doing something.'

To which Ryou's became one that showed an extremely sarcastic 'really?' or whatever the spanish equivilant of that was.

They engaged in a short little facial-expression-off thing until Ryou decided his homework was more important than making faces at a guy in a park.

Bakura decided to not even try to not be insulted at being ignored again and so he sat down besides Ryou on the bench with a thud. The noise ignored by his companion, Bakura opted for the good old fall back of poking.

Ryou was determined to not let it turn out the way it did last time. He scooted down the bench with a rationality that was a mix of 'those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it' and 'fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...'

Of course Bakura took the move as a cowardly retreat instead of a tactful one. To moved down the bench to be beside Ryou again. With the books having been moved to Ryou's lap, Bakura was free to slide uncomfortable close right next to the other boy.

Ryou huffed and moved down yet again hopeing Bakura would get the message.

Don't be fooled, Bakura got the message. But unfortunetly for Ryou, he was encouraged by it instead of halted.

This cycle continued. Ryou was close to finishing his blasted assignment and so he had all his attention focused on it. With him mindlessly moving away from Bakura, Ryou failed to notice the inevitable end of the bench until he fell right off of it.

Ryou sat dazed in a pile of books on the ground. When the realization of what happened coupled with Bakura's loud laughter made him understand exactly what had just happened, the tips of his ears started turing scarlet. He tried to think of anything he knew how to say in Spanish that he could say to defend himself.

Only drawing a blank, Ryou went with the good old 'shut your mouth.' But as he was rather embarrassed, it was more of a stammared, "_C-Cierra la boca!_"

Bakura had no idea what Ryou had just said but the indignate manner he said it in only made Bakura laugh harder until tears were practically coming out of his eyes.

**TBC**

Translations

_Sí- _yes

_Mi tarea! Porque la tierra? ¡Pienso que sepas amigos!-_ My homework! Why Earth? I thought you were my friend!

_¡__C-Cierra la boca- _Shut your mouth (shut up)

Author's Note

Woah I'm sorry about that. I say I'm back then wait two weeks to update. Obviously I am a horrible person. Anyways, I hope you like this chapter. I know I think it to be a big improvement over the original one. So uh lemme know what you think of it? Or just insult it in the reviews. Or don't do that I'm fragile.


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